Saturday, April 19, 2014

Left Out

So this post may be a little messy and not very well thought out and that's OK. My goal here is not to be a prolific writer, but to be honest to myself and to my readers.

Last week was a rough week for me.  It has been filled with anxiety and poor eating choices.  A couple of weekends ago we all hopped in the car (my husband, my two "sons", and we picked up one of my missionary sons along the way) and headed off to Utah so we could see all of our missionary sons and daughters at a mission reunion as well as enjoy The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints' General Conference with friends and family.  All-in-all it was a great weekend.  I even got to visit with my first roommate whom I love so dearly.  However, the trip on the whole was a huge wake up call to me about some of my food addiction triggers and how far away I am from truly overcoming them.

I hate being left out.  Always have and now that I am trying to avoid foods that not only trigger my food addiction, but also my autoimmune disease, this is especially apparent.  Think about all the social events you have been to in the last year; how many of those involved food?  I bet most of them if not all.  This is a cause of much anxiety for me.  I don't want to be left out of the fun and part of the fun involves food.

So after a week of hanging with friends and family and eating right along with them, I was feeling terrible; physically sick and emotionally down.  I just couldn't bear to be left out again.  I had failed again.  I had failed myself and my health.  I was feeling so weak by my recent fall and lack of self-control.  I was beating myself up and just feeling miserable.

Reading this blog post really helped Failing Conference especially this quote:
“Lucifer will do all in his power to keep you captive. You are familiar with his strategy. He whispers: ” …You can’t change; you have tried before and failed.” “It’s too late; you’ve gone too far.” Don’t let him discourage you.” (Richard G. Scott)

So, what is the point to all of this?  Remember to change the mental tape that you cannot do it.  That is only Satan trying to divide us.  Because of the Lord our Savior Jesus Christ, we can always start over again.  Because of Him there is always hope.  Because of Him nobody no matter their situation or in my case eating plan, is left out from His table.

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