|Me on the left with my oldest niece only 4 yrs and 3 days younger than me|
|Not all but most of my nieces and nephews|
So what happened? For one thing I didn't get married until I was 31. As my twenties dwindled down, I wondered how this large posterity was going to come about. I reminded myself that Abraham was told that his posterity was going to be numbered as the sands of the sea and he only had two sons late in his life. So I waited patiently.
|Aren't they cute? I love them so.|
About this time my husband gave me a priesthood blessing ensuring me that I would know my children when I met them. To me this clearly meant adoption was the absolute way to go. Until we met with brick wall after brick wall. (I may share more of this story later as it included so many life lessons for Gavin and I, but as this post is already getting to be the length of the Bible, I will sum up.) A funny thing started happening around this time. I would be talking to a friend and the Spirit would whisper, "This is your child." I would teach a Sunday School Class and the whisper would continue, "These are your children." Being with my nieces and nephews, "This is your child." This started to happen over and over again, but never to a child we were hoping to adopt, not to mention the many road blocks and brick walls we kept facing each time we tried. (Again, a another long story for another day.)
After several years and many nights ending in tears and sorrow, we got off the adoption roller coaster and started to cope with our loss. This was so hard for me with many complex and deep feelings of failure and loss.
My husband and I were called to be the Young Single Adult Advisers for our ward (congregation for you non-LDS readers) and more surrogate children came into my life. I seemed to find new purpose and a new definitions for mother and motherhood.
I slowly morphed not into a MOTHER, but not the mother I dreamed of being as a child or a mother as the world would define it, but the mother that God made me. Eve was called Eve because she was Mother to ALL living. (Genesis 3:20) Not just those beings who would be born from her womb, but ALL living. The title mother is not predicated on anyone's ability to give birth or raise children, but the ability to nurture and love. I believe these are qualities Eve had in abundance.
My new goal? "Loving Mother to all I meet."